Musical boyfriend sings Ex Love Songs |
My boyfriend plays in a band for which I act as the
manager. We work closely and are very involved in the music as well as
being close as a couple.
It didn't used to bother me that he performs songs about a couple of his
ex's that are not only very emotional, but which include sexual
details. But lately, I'm starting to feel jealous and upset when I hear
the lyrics over and over again as he practices and performs. I also
sometimes feel like people are looking at me funny when he's singing
about another girl.
I know this is my problem! But I'm not sure how to frame this in my
mind so that I don't get really cranky when I hear these lyrics/songs.
In a way, I have always questioned whether he was hung up on ex's b/c of
pictures he has around and the very serious tone he gets whenever
mentioning one of them. I guess I just REALLY start questioning when I
hear him sing so passionately about his love for another woman and the
way they always made love on tuesday morning or whatever - even though
it is a song he wrote before he met me.
I don't think his ex's are a threat or that he wants to go back to one
or any of them. So, how do I get my mind on the music and our
relationship - and off of Sally, Jessie, or whoever else he's singing
about...?
Angelica |
| Answer: |
Dear Angelica
Interesting situation you've found yourself in, can't say that I've heard
this one before. Helping manage your boyfriend's musical career has got to
challenging when he's singing old songs about former loves. Lost loves are
often a great inspiration for artists of all breeds, I suppose even after
all these years it's hard to discard work that once held such meaning.
I wish I could tell you he should quit playing the songs, but alas ripping
away an artist's work is often an impossible battle to fight. Being somewhat of
a jealous person myself I can imagine how frustrating it could be to hear
someone you love sing about other romances they've had.
I suppose what needs to be done is with you. Analyse the situation and look
at who you're dating. A "rock star" who prides himself in songs of lust and
love is always going to be just that and it may be something you are just
going to have to accept. To be in a relationship like this you're going to
have to be strong! Eliminate your doubts, realize everyone has a past and
know you are the one going to bed with him at the end of the day, not the
rest of them.
Jealousy and insecurity are a closely knitted pair, something that if left
alone will only get worse. These emotions although having a few positive
traits rarely do us any good. If your partner is faithful, loving and
dedicated, the songs he sings "should" be meaningless to you. By now I'm
sure he has fan base and this could be one of the reasons he continues to
sing these songs.
I think you being his manager may have some influence in which direction his
music is going. Perhaps suggest producing some new albums, new songs, (avoid
sharing your reasoning for this). If he's any good (not to criticize) I'd
assume he's going to need fresh material now and then and these songs
probably won't haunt you forever. For the meantime perhaps it's time to
indulge in one of mankind's sinful pleasures. "Ignorance is bliss" as they
say, assuming his whole set isn't based on EXcapades, whenever a song comes
on that drive you up the wall, space out for a bit. Go for a walk, plug in
your MP3 player, or simply zone out. Being in the situation you are in, I'm
thinking it's either a adjust or delete scenario. To repeat myself again,
boost your confidence and give yourself some credit. He's with you now, you
manage his business, I figure you're a pretty important part of his life.
The rest is just fluff....
I suppose this is all I can say on the topic... I hope this helps.
-Nate Lovestruck
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