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Musical boyfriend sings ex love songs

My boyfriend plays in a band for which I act as the manager.  We work closely and are very involved in the music as well as being close as a couple.

It didn't used to bother me that he performs songs about a couple of his ex's that are not only very emotional, but which include sexual details.  But lately, I'm starting to feel jealous and upset when I hear the lyrics over and over again as he practices and performs.  I also sometimes feel like people are looking at me funny when he's singing about another girl.

I know this is my problem!  But I'm not sure how to frame this in my mind so that I don't get really cranky when I hear these lyrics/songs. 

In a way, I have always questioned whether he was hung up on ex's b/c of pictures he has around and the very serious tone he gets whenever mentioning one of them.  I guess I just REALLY start questioning when I hear him sing so passionately about his love for another woman and the way they always made love on Tuesday morning or whatever - even though it is a song he wrote before he met me.

I don't think his ex's are a threat or that he wants to go back to one or any of them.  So, how do I get my mind on the music and our relationship - and off of Sally, Jessie, or whoever else he's singing about...?

Angelica

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Dear Angelica

Interesting situation you've found yourself in, can't say that I've heard this one before. Helping manage your boyfriend's musical career has got to challenging when he's singing old songs about former loves. Lost loves are often a great inspiration for artists of all breeds, I suppose even after all these years it's hard to discard work that once held such meaning.

I wish I could tell you he should quit playing the songs, but alas ripping away an artist's work is often an impossible battle to fight. Being somewhat of a jealous person myself I can imagine how frustrating it could be to hear someone you love sing about other romances they've had.

I suppose what needs to be done is with you. Analyze the situation and look at who you're dating. A "rock star" who prides himself in songs of lust and love is always going to be just that and it may be something you are just going to have to accept. To be in a relationship like this you're going to have to be strong! Eliminate your doubts, realize everyone has a past and know you are the one going to bed with him at the end of the day, not the rest of them.

Jealousy and insecurity are a closely knitted pair, something that if left alone will only get worse. These emotions although having a few positive traits rarely do us any good. If your partner is faithful, loving and dedicated, the songs he sings "should" be meaningless to you. By now I'm sure he has fan base and this could be one of the reasons he continues to sing these songs.

I think you being his manager may have some influence in which direction his music is going. Perhaps suggest producing some new albums, new songs, (avoid sharing your reasoning for this). If he's any good (not to criticize) I'd assume he's going to need fresh material now and then and these songs probably won't haunt you forever. For the meantime perhaps it's time to indulge in one of mankind's sinful pleasures. "Ignorance is bliss" as they say, assuming his whole set isn't based on EXcapades, whenever a song comes on that drive you up the wall, space out for a bit. Go for a walk, plug in your MP3 player, or simply zone out. Being in the situation you are in, I'm thinking it's either a adjust or delete scenario. To repeat myself again, boost your confidence and give yourself some credit. He's with you now, you manage his business, I figure you're a pretty important part of his life. The rest is just fluff....

I suppose this is all I can say on the topic... I hope this helps.

-Nate Lovestruck

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