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Man in the ministry, wont leave his wife for me

I have met a man over the internet that I have fallen in love with and he is in love with me. The problem is, he's married and a minister. He's been a minister for about 5 years now and his wife of 12 years does not not support him. She doesn't like going to church or getting involved in any of the activities he's involved in. They argue a lot, she spends too much money and they don't communicate unless it becomes an argument. He says he doesn't love her anymore. He loves me and he has shown me how much he loves me. We both know adultery is wrong and he is really torn because he's in the ministry. He says she says she is leaving, but she is not making a convincing effort to do so. He thinks she's just used to being with him and is afraid she won't have anywhere to go although he knows she hates her life with him. He won't leave her because of his ministry, but he wants me to wait until she leaves even though he doesn't know when that will be. I am so in love with this man. I want to be with him now and I have become very depressed about this relationship, but I can't say goodbye. How can I cope with this situation.

Sandy

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Dear Sandy

Hate to break it to you but rarely does a married man leave his wife for another woman. Seeing that his wife is comfortable, being financially supported by this man, odds are good she won't leave for a while. Have you ever considered that maybe she isn't as unhappy as he claims and this is just another way of getting you to stick around. It would seem he has the best of both worlds, a wife at home and a woman that is so devoted to him that she is willing to let him call all the shots.

What I don't understand is why is he able to commit adultery, but is morally against divorce, especially since his wife is very unhappy in the relationship. I feel it would be a less selfish act to divorce her so that she is able to peruse a life that would bring her happiness.

With this said let me give you a few suggestions on what you can do. Since you say you are unable to say goodbye I have to assume that you would like to have a workable solution to this problem as it currently stands.

Keep things casual and fully enjoy the time you both spend together. Since he is unable to make a commitment to you, you should not devote yourself entirely to him. If the opportunity arises, go out on dates with other men. Love is a strange and wonderful thing, and often hits you when you're not even looking. Perhaps if you leave yourself open to new relationships you might meet someone and fall head over heels in love - it's been known to happen.

I hope all goes well, best of luck!

-Nate Lovestruck

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