Am I Wrong For Being Jealous |
Me and my girlfriend were dating for about a year and a half but certain situations and differences have ended our beautiful relationship. I am a jealous person and get jealous very easily. The other day my girlfriend told me that this boy that likes her wanted to take her to a party and she was going to go until
I told her that I didn't like it.
The other my girlfriend told me that a boy that likes her invited her to
a party and she wanted to go until I told her I didn't like it. She is
young and I believe that she is not ready for a full scale committed
relationship. She constantly complains that she no longer does the
things she used to do before she met me. She used hang out wit her guy
friends and party a lot but she can't do that anymore because she is
with me. We've been apart for about a week now and I find myself really
missing her. I know that the split was for the best because I know she
wants to see what else is out there, I was her first boyfriend. No
matter what I do I find myself thinking about her and wondering what
she's up to. My heart still longs for her and I miss her a lot, what do
I do?
Ludo |
| Answer: |
Dear Ludo
Rough little pattern you've gotten yourself into, jealousy rarely
contributes to a successful relationship. As much as your worried
about what your girlfriend is up to, trying to control what she does
in her life will probably lead to unwanted resentment. Healthy
relationships are built on a foundation of trust, without it neither
one of you will be happy. Either she'll be worried about everything
she does so as to not offend you or you'll be constantly over
analyzing where she is.
Realize that things have go to change. By showing her your jealousy
your also showing her your distrust. Be wary, for this behavior can
bring on a counteract behavior. If she's going to be accused of a
crime ( IE: through your jealousy) why not commit it? As to say, you
can't watch her 24/7 and if she's going to cheat on you, she will
and no amount of verbal control will prevent it.
All hope is not lost, you can train yourself to get over this. It
won't be easy but if you really want to change it can be done.
Jealousy happens, no one likes it, no one can control it, but it's
best to be ignored. It quietly itches at the back of the mind, a
borderline paranoia and fear that your sweat heart will fall in love
with another. My suggestion as easier said then done would be to
become somewhat ignorant when it comes to your jealousy. Realize
that it is there, but do your best to not indulge in it, numb it
out. Basically trust that the person you love will treat you with
enough respect and stay committed to you. If they don't they're are
not worth your time, that's the bottom line.
If you want her back, your going to have to trust her and give up
this jealous routine. Give her a call and see if she'll take you
back. Explain that you're going to make an effort (a real effort) to
be less jealous and try to give her more time to hang out with her
friends. If you have a problem with her partying, try to incorporate
yourself into the group, and ask if you could come along. Not only
will this make it easier for you to trust her by knowing the people
she's hanging out with, they might be more inclined to respect the
relationships boundaries after they come to be your friend.
Hope things look better in the morning... and best of luck!
-Nate Lovestruck
|
|
|
|
Need Advice? Ask Us! :