Long Distance Relationship - Gone Bad
We were together for 3 years 3000 miles apart and saw each other 3 times. All of a sudden one month ago he breaks it off saying he no longer is in love with me. I can't get him to open up or really talk about it. Every time it's brought up he just says he met an old friend and its best we're apart. I want him back...
Allie
Dear Allie
I've heard of long distance relationships but in your case it seems a bit extreme. Three visits in three years? That works out to be only one visit per year. However did you cope? It must have been very hard on both of you never having the chance to see each other.
Although you may still want him back, ending this long distance relationship was probably the healthiest thing to do. It couldn't have been too passionate, having to rely solely on yearly visits. I don't mean to sound insensitive but are you really be sure that he's the right person for you? If you never get to see each other, how can you be sure? Talking on the phone or via the Internet is very different than having a physical relationship with someone. There's no way of knowing what you didn't like about this person without having spent time with him one on one.
As much as you don't want to hear it, my best advice would be to work on getting over him and find someone within your own area code, or at least a short bus ride away. Long distance relationships work out just fine for some people, but unless both partner's are up to the challenge it won't go anywhere. The average success rates of a long distances relationship gets lower and lower with the amount of time in between visits. For a relationship to truly blossom it's important to see one another, at least occasionally. I'm really quite surprised that it lasted as long as it did.
Even though you might not want to face it, I believe he made the right decision in ending it. In three years the relationship obviously didn't progress much, neither one of you made much of an attempt to see each other more.
I suggest that you respect his decision to end the relationship and take it as an opportunity to move on. After a while you'll start to feel better about the situation and hopefully be able to meet someone nice closer to home. Life is much too short to waste in on a relationship that is going no where.
Best Of Luck
-Nate Lovestruck
