Boyfriend Neglects Me, The passion has died down... |
Me and my boyfriend have been going out for less than
3 years and already things are starting to get a bit dull. He spends
most of his time watching sports and rarely wants to go out anymore (
unless it's with his friends}. I work all week and on my days off I want
to have a bit of fun. If I complain he says I'm nagging, how do I get
him to understand that I'm not happy with the way things are.
Mindy |
| Answer: |
Dear Mindy
Keeping the passion alive in a long running relationship is definitely a
problem most people have experienced. The trick of course is getting
over this pause and reaching the next level. Being in a relationship we
always seem to look back to the old times when we first fell in love,
the passion, the excitement of our first kiss. When spending the entire
day was never enough, and neither was a week. Oddly this rarely lasts
forever and as the days, months and years roll by the relationship can
become somewhat routine. You know each other so well now, what you can
get away with, what you cannot, likes and dislikes, the passion that was
once a burning inferno is now but a small camp fire. Don't get down
quite yet, there is still hope!
Like a car needing a tune up, a house needing to be renovated, so do
relationships. Gently grab your partner and explain to him that things
have got to change. State that you are serious and that he has to make
more time to accommodate you. Suggest ideas for new experiences, be
willing to listen to his side of the story, and try to meet somewhere in
between. Be spontaneous, a trip to a B & B for the weekend, an expensive
night out. Make sure he knows that the relationship is not working as is
and if something doesn't change it probably won't last. Better to give
him fair warning of your worry. Keeping these thoughts inside can lead
to unnecessary resentment
It's a scary thing confronting your partner with such an ultimatum but
essential for the progress of the relationship. Miscommunication kills
more relationships then it saves. It's often good policy to make sure
your both on the same page from time to time. So state your problems,
your fears and concerns and hopefully it will all work out.
-Nate Love Struck
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