Moving In Together
Helpful tips to help couple make the process of moving in together easier
The pre-emptive strike against some of the issues people overlook when planning for this major lifestyle change.
You’re Going To Do It
If you are certain you are both ready to move in together, you have plenty of planning ahead. By taking a proactive approach, you can reduce or even eliminate a great deal of stress before you embark on this new chapter in life. You can never be too prepared to move in with your partner. This can be a positive step forward and doesn’t need to be tainted by emotions or frustrations when something catches you off guard. By taking the time to sit down and talk through everything from bad habits to financial expectations, you’re giving this time of transition a greater chance for success and creating many happy memories along the way.
Whose Place? ... Or a New Place?
So where are you going to live? If you both have your own places already, it may be a matter of choosing which location is more suitable for co-habitation and combining your homes. If you’re starting fresh and looking for a place together, it’s important to discuss what will suit both of your needs — be it an apartment, a basement suite or a house. What areas of town are most convenient for both of your lifestyles? Take the little things into consideration. If you haven’t lived with someone in a while, there’s nothing wrong with wanting a suite that has an extra room or some additional space where you can each seek a little alone time when you need it. If you work from home, you need to have enough space for designated living and working areas.
Once you know what you’re looking for, you need to discuss with your partner how to make it happen. Possessions, finances and expectations all have to be on the table. Sit down and discuss what items each of you have, who will bring what into the home and what you will need to purchase together. If you both have living room furniture, consider selling one set and using the proceeds to purchase other things you’ll need. This can be one of the most exciting aspects of planning your move in together. You’ll also want to create a financial breakdown of expenses to establish what you can afford and who is going to pay for what. This is an area where expectations on both sides must be addressed — you don’t want to assume anything and risk putting either of you in a difficult position later.
Don’t Wait For Unnecessary Surprises
You’ve been crashing at your boyfriend’s place for six months. You knew he had a massive collection of Star War’s memorabilia in the spare room but you didn’t think he’d ever consider displaying it in your new home together. So when he shows up expecting to put his Darth Vader figurine anywhere even remotely visible, you’ve already set yourself up for the first awkward conversation and one of you will have to compromise under less than pleasant circumstances. Don’t start on this foot. It’s easier to ask before the moving day and make a plan together, rather than trying to address it during a time that’s already a little intimidating and nerve-racking.
Share Your Life
Talk about your routines and some of the hobbies your partner may not know about. This is also an ideal opportunity to talk about what kinds of responsibilities you prefer. If you really hate washing dishes, you may get lucky and can pass that duty off in exchange for making the bed each morning. This is not to say all duties must be clearly divided, but taking the time to discuss interests and preferences could prevent a possible blow-out down the road. Use this time also to air any concerns or frustrations in a neutral and proactive way. It’s fine when she leaves her blowdryer on the bathroom counter at her place, but maybe you’d prefer to see it go back into a drawer when she’s finished with it.
Make Them Comfortable
If you have agreed to have your partner will move in with you, make a concerted effort to help them feel at home. They are now going to be living in a space you have previously established as your own and will probably feel out of place. Help them lay some roots of their own. Consider going shopping together for furnishings to redecorate the home in a way you will both enjoy. Give them space for their things. You want them to be able to integrate their possessions into the home, but there’s definitely value in giving them some designated areas where they can really feel at home.
Page(s) 1 | 2 |