The Long Distance Relationship
Tips and Strategies for keeping long distance relationships fresh...
Long distance relationships, what an interesting concept? Two people who care for each other separated by mountains, seas and rivers, unable to see each other on a regular basis. Generally more mental then physical, long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart.
Being somewhat unique in nature, these unions can add for an extra level of passion, having to solely rely on one's emotions to keep things alive. Although passionate, these types of relationships can also be quite difficult to maintain. A combination of trust, respect and love are essential in keeping the flame hot. Whether your sweetheart is away on a month long trip or you fell in love with someone in a different area code, long distance relationships are always going to be trying.
With today's technology it's now easier than ever before to keep a LDR fresh and exciting. There are many ways you can communicate with someone without ever having to spend a dime, all it takes is a computer with internet access. You and your partner can keep in touch by emailing each other, getting together in an online chat room , or by using a program such as Msn Messenger, AOL and ICQ to have private, real-time conversation. For added effect, invest in a webcam and microphone so you'll be able to see and hear each other while you talk
Keeping In Touch
When you're in a long distance relationship it's more important than ever to stay in constant contact with your sweetie. No, I'm not saying that you should call him/her every couple of hours, but do try to get in touch at least every couple of days, even if it's only to say hi. If not, insecurities may arise. A short phone call or talking via the Internet can subdue these types of feelings. Give them an update on what you've been doing, who you've been hanging out with and what's on your mind. Aim for at least 3-5 conversations per week to keep everyone happy.
Get in the habit of emailing your partner a sweet love note everyday. It'll sure be appreciated. You don't have to write a long drawn out letter, just write something cute, playful or romantic. It'll put a smile on their face and brighten up their day because they'll know that you're thinking about them.
"My girlfriend lived 6 hours away we only saw each other every other weekend. Without fail she would write me a new love note every morning before I went off to class. Sometimes just a hello, others deep passionate love, and some of what she'd like to do to me. To say the least, it was a great way to start off the day."Richard (Alberta,Canada)
Everybody likes snail mail! Unlike e-mail, this is "real". Handwritten love letters have a much needed personal touch and really show you care. Dousing the paper in your favorite perfume or cologne should help establish a nostalgic feeling. Get creative, don't be afraid to spend a little time on it. Draw some pictures, doodle and babble about how you feel. It won't go unnoticed.
Flowers are always a great gift, fairly inexpensive and a fail safe heart warmer. Find out what your love's favourite bloom is and send them out when they least suspect it. For the extra icing on the cake, get the florist to include a card with a personalize message. A good search in Google should yield some local florists in your partner's area.
The Surprise Visit
Have an extra day off? Book a flight or hop in your car and surprise your sweetheart with an unexpected visit. Showing up at his or her doorstep a few days earlier than planned will definitely brighten up their day. There's nothing better!
Caution:Just to be on the safe side, feel them out a bit during your telephone conversations to make sure that they didn't have any prior plans. You don't want to show up unexpected if the folks are visiting, or they already made plans to go out with friends. Might make things a bit uncomfortable.
8 Steps For Success
- Set the Ground Rules
Setting some basic rules about the nature of the relationship can really help avoid conflict.
Some examples questions you may like to resolve:
- Sexually monogamous or open relationship?
- How often do you intend on seeing each other in person?
- How often should you contact each other?
- Are there any holidays that you'd really like to spend with each other?
- Expect the unexpected
You were suddenly called into work on the same weekend you had plans to meet. Your best friend just broke up with her boyfriend and needs a shoulder to cry on, or your dog just had puppies, etc... Flexibility and understanding is a very important factor in a LDR. Try to be understanding if plans get changed.
- Quality Confidence - Keep Each Other Updated
Being the nature of long distance relationships, telephone conversations aren't as personal as talking one on one and don't always convey what a person is actually feeling. Try to stay in tune with your partner's needs. If they start having doubts about the relationship, communicate with them and suggest some ways to resolve the problem before it festers into something bigger.
Enough said? Second guessing each other, and/or being suspicious about what your partner is doing when you aren't together will lead to nothing but failure. If you both agreed not to see other people, have faith and trust that they are being faithful to you.
Just like in any relationship, arguments are bound to arise and you'll squabble over silly things. Long distance relationships are very trying and it's real easy to loose your cool over the phone. Just remember to be patient with your partner, listen and respond to each others needs and concerns and try to always end the conversation on a pleasant note.
- Weigh the Pros and Cons
LDR aren't for everyone. There's quite a lot of time and energy that goes into making one work. Weigh the pros and cons. Is the relationship good? Do you have the extra cash it takes to travel to see them? Are you feeling happy more often than sad? These are just a few examples of what you should ask yourself. If the pros outweigh the cons than you're okay, if not it might be better to end the relationship and try to meet someone else closer to home.
- Shop Smart
Unless you're lucky enough to have extra cash to spare, it's better to keep your travel plans on the cheap side. Do your research! If the cost of airfare is $75% more than taking the bus, take the extra time traveling and save some money. The less expensive it is to visit your partner, the more often you'll get to see them.
- Give Yourself Something To Look Forward To
If the relationship is going really well, you or your partner might consider the idea of moving closer to each other. Long distance relationships rely on anticipation and even talking about the possibilities of being nearer to each other will give you both something to look forward to.